I could not be more excited about all the options in the GOP presidential field. These candidates are like the perfect appetizer sampler platter. You’ve got pizza bites (Cain); crazy bread (Bachmann); boiled potato (Gingrich); Texas toast (Perry); foie gras (Romney); imitation foie gras (Hunstman); uninspected squirrel jerky (Paul); all with a Santorum dipping sauce.
STEPHEN COLBERT, The Colbert Report (via inothernews)
inothernews: When Republican / Tea Party crowd says “YEAH!” to a question about letting an uninsured patient die: no scare headline on the right-leaning Drudge Report. When Republican crowd boos gay U.S. soldier for asking Republican candidates if they would reverse the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: no scare headline on the right-leaning Drudge Report. When Republican crowd applauds Texas for executing more than 200 people: no scare headline on the right-leaning Drudge Report. When Democratic governor makes obvious joke to a Rotary Club about suspending Congressional elections: OMG SCARE HEADLINE ON THE RIGHT-LEANING DRUDGE REPORT HEY HEY FELLOW REPUBLICANS AND TEA PARTIERS CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THIS DEMOCRAT JUST SAID THEY’RE COMING AFTER US THEY WANT TO TAKE AWAY YOUR FREEDOM CLASS WARFARE CLASS WARFARE CLASS WARFARE!!!1! The only thing worse than Drudge Report’s headlines is their web design
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inothernews:

When Republican / Tea Party crowd says “YEAH!” to a question about letting an uninsured patient die: no scare headline on the right-leaning Drudge Report.

When Republican crowd boos gay U.S. soldier for asking Republican candidates if they would reverse the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: no scare headline on the right-leaning Drudge Report.

When Republican crowd applauds Texas for executing more than 200 people: no scare headline on the right-leaning Drudge Report.

When Democratic governor makes obvious joke to a Rotary Club about suspending Congressional elections: OMG SCARE HEADLINE ON THE RIGHT-LEANING DRUDGE REPORT HEY HEY FELLOW REPUBLICANS AND TEA PARTIERS CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THIS DEMOCRAT JUST SAID THEY’RE COMING AFTER US THEY WANT TO TAKE AWAY YOUR FREEDOM CLASS WARFARE CLASS WARFARE CLASS WARFARE!!!1!

The only thing worse than Drudge Report’s headlines is their web design

Nobody was asking about offsetting budget cuts in Joplin (Missouri, which was devastated by a tornado earlier this year), and I don’t want to hear about the fact that offsetting budget cuts have to come first before New Jersey citizens are taken care of.

You want to figure out budget cuts, that’s fine. You’re going to turn it into a fiasco like that debt-limit thing where you’re fighting with each other for eight or nine weeks and you expect the citizens of my state to wait? They’re not gonna wait, and I’m going to fight to make sure that they don’t.

Republican New Jersey governor CHRIS CHRISTIE, during a press conference today with FEMA and Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano; Christie has applied for federal emergency aid for his hurricane-ravaged state.

Memo to Eric Cantor: when Chris Christie tells you to stick it in your ear, you stick it in your fucking ear.

(via the Wall Street Journal)